ever lost something u love before

The music sounds great i like the energy ,there's a thick cloud in my head i dont wanna stop drinking cos i know,how much it will hurt when soberness hits home,i don't want the club lights to go off,keep your moon i don't see its beauty,this is what i want.........where do they get the nerve to blame me for it,but what do can a man do i am only human,it hurt i felt it i still feel it,so i down a few more shots and puff on that good pine...........i fight back the tears in my eyes,why does this have to be so hard......i mutter to myself,i wish this is all a dream a rehearsal,a test, a preview.....a very very very bad dream............if only,if only i could wake up find myself......maybe id be able to find what id lost..............maybe.

The drink and "drugs" numb the pain away and fuel my desire to push to the very limits.